Through A Different Lense
by spnarayan
Summary: Basically my idea of what will happen in Season 10! I suck at summaries so read to see if you like it I guess! Destiel
1. Prologue

_Prologue_

I opened my eyes slowly. I was in a bed, in... the bunker? Yes I was in the bunker, but something felt different, I felt like I was seeing the world through different eyes, like everything dark had been magnified. I walked over to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I wasn't bloody from the fight anymore, but I suppose I had Sam to thank for that he had probably fixed me up. I didn't feel thankful though, in fact I didn't feel anything. What had happened to me? All I remember is dying the life flowing out of me, but for some weird reason I was alive, but again I felt not alive. I looked in the mirror again and then I noticed my eyes. My eyes were coal black, a void of nothingness. I was a demon, but that didn't make me angry or scared. I feel as though nothing matters now, for my demons had indeed caught up to me and nothing mattered anymore. It occurred to me then that to other demons nothing mattered either. To test my theory I thought of Sam dying, nothing changed I found I didn't care, who cared about family anyways. Human emotions were a waste of time.

I heard footsteps and quickly changed my eyes back to my human green. Sam walked in and strode over to me, happiness evident in his face.

"Dean you're awake! How is that even possible?" Sam smiled happily at me, I wonder if he really felt happy or relieved, how was it possible to feel emotions like that? Emotions were a lie, so why was Sam expressing them? I suppose having a soul helps express things that aren't really there.

"I don't know, one minute I was dying that next moment I woke up here!" I tried to sound like a human, but it was really hard. As I said being a human requires emotions, and emotions require a soul. Evidently Sam sensed something was wrong, I suppose there must be some kind of human sense that can tell that danger is nearby, namely me.

"Why are you speaking like that?" You sound different..." To save him the brainwork I hit him hard on the head I didn't want to kill him just yet. I let my demon eyes show.

"Dean? Or are you a demon.. Get out of my brother's body you demon bastard!" He yelled trying to make sense of it all, I really do pity that incomprehensive brain, humans are so slow, maybe I could find a way to remove his soul. It would make Sam less annoying.

"Oh don't worry Sammy I'm still Dean, it seems though that when a human with the Mark of Cain dies, they wake up a demon! Quite useful really!"

"What do you-"

"Oh save me from your human brain! This is really boring. I think I'm going to go now, wouldn't want to kill you, would I? After all you are my brother." I sneered at that last word. And then quickly before he could do anything, I zapped out of the bunker. I didn't know where to go though, so I decided to go to a place Sam would never think to find me, to a vegan bakery. After all, as my human self had once said, the source of evil would always be found at a vegan bakery. Also I needed to discover what it really meant to be a demon. And maybe just maybe cause some chaos. Thinking of what I could do now I didn't have a conscience in the way, I felt an evil smile creep up my face. Now where do I begin?


	2. Chapter 1: The Human Emotion Of Grief

Chapter 1: The Human Emotion Of Grief/em/span/p

Castiel knew he should have come sooner to the bunker. But he just didn't want to be confronted with the fact that Dean was dead, Dean who had always managed to come back, but not this time.

At least that was what Metatron had implied. He remembered sitting in that chair, with Metatron telling him that the one human that he had actually come to care about, was dead. That the one human he had risked everything for, was gone. He had hoped that Dean would make it, that he would hold on a little longer. But as he sat in that cursed chair, while Metatron was stupidly talking about his plan, all he could think of was that Dean was dead. The only thing that mattered now was that Metatron died, and screaming while he did.

It was weird that while Dean would not live forever, Castiel had always supposed that he would always die first, not Dean. Dean had always seemed so grounded, he would last forever. He had of course masked his feelings quickly so Metatron wouldn't see his grief, his disbelief. Metatron didn't see it but then he had always been so adept at hiding his true feelings.

But now all he wanted to do was break something, he wanted to scream until his throat was raw. He wanted to find a way back to Dean Winchester, and tell him what he had always wanted to say. He had never understood why humans would resort to violence when in grieving, but now he felt he understood all too well.

All these thoughts ran through his mind while Metatron spoke in that annoying whiney voice of his. He was looking so smug like he didn't care like he hadn't destroyed, no obliviated Castiel's whole world. Yes, Dean was Castiel's whole world and now he wouldn't ever be able to tell him.

He paused outside the entrance to the bunker, thinking of how in the end he hadn't killed or done any of the things he had wanted to to Metatron probably since he knew it wasn't right. He had once pretended to be God and it had ended disastrously, he wouldn't make that mistake again. He wasn't God, nor would he ever be. So instead of killing Metatron he had decided to lock him up, that way Metatron would be alone with his thoughts, with what he almost done. Castiel had been in that place once, and he knew how it could destroy you.

Castiel walked in the bunker and was surprised by what he saw, but by now he shouldn't be that surprised. After all it was the Winchesters, and nothing was ever simple with them, actually there was no plural anymore, there was only one Winchester now. Castiel never thought he would ever be that sad, by the removal of one "s", but one "s" had changed his life, it had taken Dean Winchester away from him. Shaking away those grim thoughts he walked further into the bunker, everything was wrecked, the entire place looked like it had been to Purgatory and back. Sam was lying on the ground, bloody and beaten. Castiel quickly walked over to Sam and healed him with a touch of his fingers, feeling the stolen grace's energy slowly leak away. He tried not to show how much it hurt.

"Thanks Cas." he said

"What happened here?" And more importantly to Castiel was Dean really dead?

"Dean happened." Sam said shortly

"What do you mean, I heard Metatron say Dean was dead!" Castiel's heart leaped thinking maybe that Dean was still alive, that he could see him alive once more.

"He was dead, but the Mark of Cain did something to him. It brought him back, but not as Dean." Sam quickly explained what had happened, including Dean dying and coming back as a demon.

"Not a demon." Cas interjected "A knight of hell, if what you say is true, then Dean wouldn't have come back as any old demon, the Mark of Cain would have made him a knight of hell."

"Will human blood still work on him then?" Sam asked "Will it still be possible to change him back with human blood?"

"No, it won't. Cain hated being a demon, I suppose he would have found a way to change himself back to a human if he could have."

"Are you saying its hopeless?" Sam asked angrily " 'Cause it can't be, after all we've been through you're not saying its-" Cas held his hand

"No I do not consider it hopeless Sam, do you really think that after all thats happened that I would give up on Dean?" Castiel's eyes blazed fire, as if he an angel of the lord would ever do that! Dean had given up so much for him, and even if he hadn't, Castiel would still do whatever it took to help him become the man he once was. Cas never had understood the phrase "move heaven and earth to find you", but it seemed Dean had helped him understand many things. If it indeed took Castiel moving heaven and earth to find him he would do it in a heartbeat.

"Ok then, we have a lot of research to do." Sam said interrupting Castiel from his thoughts. But would all the books in this bunker be enough. Would it really be enough to complete the impossible. But what was impossible, was it what human perceive to be hard or-

"Cas, come on we have work to do." Sam strode out the door, and towards the bunker's library. Cas would have to save thinking about impossibility for another time, right now Dean needed him.


	3. Chapter 2: Blood And Books

They had been researching for what felt like days now. Books, books and more books, the endless scribble of human language. Castiel would never understand why Metatron would want to flee with _books. _After days of reading, the scribbles started to look like black ants across the page. Obviously Sam thought so too since he had been taking more and more frequent breaks from reading. But Castiel never stopped, and he never would until they found something that useful.

They had found nothing useful so far though. There was nothing about how to cure a knight of hell, all any body wanted to do was kill one it seemed. This was probably because there had only been one holder of the Mark of Cain, so no one had ever needed the information that badly. Over the past few days, Castiel still hadn't been able to stop thinking of Dean, if he was human again, he was sure he would be having nightmares.

It seemed that Dean had been busy too, judging from all the dead bodies in the area. Every day a new report would come in on how yet another murderer had struck at yet another vegan bakery. Sam's computer was running now, a video from the crime scene, showing the dead bodies.

" The killer has struck again." The news reporter said "So far no one has any ideas what the killer looks like"

"And no one ever will." Sam remarked

"Yes, I do not think Dean would show himself to the cameras, even without a soul he wouldn't be that careless."

"Every time the killer strikes, it seems that they only kill the people with black hair and blue eyes, or people with light brown hair and hazel eyes." The news report continued, showing pictures of the dead bodies.

Sam sat up suddenly, "Wait those pictures look like us, is Dean practising on those people just so he can kill us?"

"It would seem so yes." Castiel said "It seems that Dean is testing the fact that he can kill replicas of us, so that when he does try to kill us, it will be without hesitation." Cas paused, " It will make him considerably more dangerous." They needed to find the cure, and quickly before more lives were lost. More importantly Dean needed to come back to Cas, his soul needed to come back, the one that had intrigued Castiel, it seemed like eons ago since Castiel had raised Dean from perdition. Since Dean had saved Castiel such a long time ago, Castiel needed to save Dean now. He had repeated that like a mantra to keep him going, he need to save Dean.

But now it seemed so hopeless. Castiel couldn't think about this anymore, he couldn't be alone in his head thinking about Dean. He couldn't do this anymore. In his anger and frustration he knocked the heaviest book off the shelf. But he didn't care.

"Cas what's wrong?" Sam asked looking

"Nothing, it doesn't-" A loud rumbling vibrated through the whole bunker.

"Whats happening?" Sam shouted over the noise

"I don't know! Maybe the bunker's collapsing?"

"Thats reassuring"

"Well thats surprising as its not supposed to-" Castiel's words were cut off yet again, (he seriously should learn to speak faster) as the rumbling suddenly stopped. The bookshelf seemed to have been replaced with an steel door. Cas tried the door, but unsurprisingly it was locked, so instead he used his strength and shoved the door harshly open.

"Do you think there may be something that could help Dean in there?"

"It's worth a shot." Sam shrugged. So Castiel led the way through the dark passage, noticing that along the walls there were warding placed against demons everywhere. It seemed that the information contained beyond the passage, was very precious. They kept walking for several minutes till they came to a brightly lit room.

The room had only one thing of importance it seemed. A sheet of paper lay across a table that had salt around it. Castiel tentatively opened the scroll, and read what was written.

"What is it? Will it help us?" Sam asked excitedly.

"Yes. It will help us." Cas slowly replied "It seems Cain's lover wanted to make Cain human again, and was looking for the same cure we are."

"Did she find it."

"Yes." In a manner of speaking, Castiel thought

"Then why didn't she use it?" Sam anxiously asked "Doesn't it work?"

"It does work. But it seems that she died before she able to get it, also I do not think that it would have been possible to get it at that exact time."

"Well then, what is it? Spit it out already Cas!"

Cas took a deep breath then turned around to face Sam.

"Its the blood of a former wielder of the First Blade. It seems we are going to have to pay Cain a visit."


	4. Chapter 3: The Vial And A Stolen Grace

"Wait, the blood of a former wielder of the First Blade..." Sam paused for a moment, as if to think. "Cain! We could ask Cain for a vial of his blood!" Castiel hated to burst his bubble (as Dean would have said) but-

"Cain won't agree to this, remember he said that if Dean ever came back to him, he would kill him on the spot."

"But won't he want to help Dean? Also Dean promised to come when Cain called and kill him with the First Blade, if Dean is a demon he won't come when Cain calls." Sam argued. Cas had to admit though he did have a point.

"Do you want me to "zap" us there?"

"No, we'll go by car."

"Why it will be faster if I got us there."

"It would drain your stolen grace, so no!" Cas sighed in exasperation, how had Sam guessed about his grace. It was so like the Winchesters to think of others even when they had more important matters at hand. He knew that Sam was right, but lately when he had used his powers he didn't feel so drained so maybe the grace was becoming a part of him. It was possible, or the grace just had next to no energy so Castiel was already a dead man. But he couldn't think about that now. Instead he touched his fingers to Sam's head and teleported them both to where Dean had said Cain lived.

When they got there, the first thing Cas saw was a normal-looking house with bee hives scattered around it.

"Cas!" Sam was staring at Castiel accusingly.

"Come on lets go." Cas pushed past Sam, not in the mood to explain his actions, and walked towards the house in front of them.

He saw a middle-aged man sitting on the houses porch, looking like he was lost in thought. Cas assumed that must be Cain. They approached the man, and he looked up like he had been expecting them.

"Its happened hasn't it." It was more of a statement then a question.

"If by its happened that you mean that my brother has turned into a murderous demon, yeah its happened." Sam looked angry, like he felt this man was responsible for all his problems. Castiel supposed he understood that. Cain had been the one to pass on the Mark of Cain unto Dean, which had in turn changed him into a murderous knight of hell.

"And now you want the cure." Again it wasn't a question. Why, Castiel wondered, did Cain keep asking questions he already had the answer to.

"You're damn right we want the cure! You knew this was going to happen!" Sam was shouting now "Now all these people are dead, and more importantly my brother's soulless!" Cain stood up.

"You're brother practically begged for the Mark of Cain! If you had come with him, instead of going on and on about how he wasn't your brother this wouldn't have happened!" Castiel felt shocked, how did Cain know all these things, from the look on Sam's face he was wondering too.

"How do you know that?" Sam asked

"I have my sources. And just so you know I will give you a vial of my blood, not because someone wrongly accused me of it being my fault, but because no one deserves the fate of being a knight of hell." To strengthen his point Cain pulled out a knife and sliced hi arm open. He then proceeded to pull out a vial from his jacket's pocket. He filled the vial with his blood and held it out to Castiel.

Castiel put the vial safely in his trench coat's pocket, he looked at Sam's face which seemed to be frozen in shock.

"You-you just have a vial on you, just like that?" Sam stuttered out. Cain threw his head back and laughed, which startled Cas immensely, Cain didn't seem like the man to show emotions easily.

"You're a funny one, Sam Winchester. Now you better be going, so you can administer that to that brother of yours." Castiel nodded his thanks at Cain and transported himself and Sam back to the bunker. He winced, feeling his power go out of him, but it didn't hurt that much. Maybe the stolen grace really was becoming a part of him.


	5. Chapter 4: The King Of Hell

_Chapter 4: The King Of Hell_

Castiel stood there looking at the vial, admiring the way the vial was completely see through. He remembered a time when humans couldn't even make a plate, much less a see-through vial.

"So..." Sam said breaking the silence, "How are we going to use the blood to change Dean back into a human?"

"Well the scroll said that we had to inject it directly into Dean's bloodstream, so I suppose we'll have to use a medical syringe."

_"_Right... It won't be easy injecting it into his system."

"We will hold him down if we must. But I think it will be harder to track him down, lets focus on finding him first."

So they studied all the places he had attacked and looked to see if there was any connection to where he had attacked, apart from them all being vegan bakeries. It was hard for them to concentrate though, with all the people dying and vegan bakeries getting attacked by the minute.

"Another vegan bakery has been attacked yet again," The newsreader said "Bakery owners are now hiring guards to protect their shops."

"That won't stop Dean." Sam observed

"I suppose they want a sense of false safety against him though." Castiel said softly, he hated speaking about the attacks. They reminded him that Dean wasn't human anymore, that Dean didn't care anymore. If only he hadn't gone with Crowley to get the First Blade, then none of this would have happened. Where was Crowley anyway? Why hadn't he been there to take advantage of the new Knight Of Hell?

"Sam!" Castiel looked up from his research, a sudden idea occurring to him

"What?"

"We can summon Crowley he might know where Dean is!"

"I've tried already, that son of a bitch won't answer no matter how many times I've summon him." Sam said dejectedly, he looked defeated, and that was something Castiel hated to see.

"He'll answer me." Cas said grimly "Even if I have to drag him out of perdition to get answers." Castiel didn't care what it took to get Crowley to answer him, Dean was making it so it was almost impossible to know where he would strike next.

"No need to get violent, Castiel, I'm here." Cas heard a familiar smug voice behind him and turned sharply his hand reaching for his knife.

"Now, now, no need for that." Crowley saw Sam giving him a dirty look "Hello moose, hows squirrel?" Sam looked he wanted to punch Crowley in the face, but Castiel reached out to stop him. Now was not the time to start fights with the King of Hell.

"Do you know where Dean is?" Cas asked bluntly, getting straight to the point.

"And I thought you wanted me just to chat." Crowley said, pretending to look sad.

"Tell us demon!" Sam spat out. Crowley gave him a look.

"If you're going to treat all of us like that, its no wonder your brother scampered."

Sam drew back, a slightly guilty look on his face.

"Thats enough." Castiel said sharply, "Tell us where Dean is."

"Its going to cost you." Crowley said, glee evident on his face. Castiel was having none of that though, he had had enough of the Crowley's tricks.

"You will help me." Castiel said threateningly, and stepped forward "Of course we could persuade you to help us using other methods."

"I don't think so." Crowley said smugly and disappeared, he must have found out about Castiel's grace. Castiel followed him, even though he knew that he would be one step closer to dying if he did so.

Castiel returned holding Crowley tightly by the neck, he wanted to collapse, but he couldn't let Crowley and Sam know how weak he was.

"TELL US WHERE HE IS!" Castiel shouted, angry that he had lost a bit of his grace due to Crowley.

"I don't know!" Crowley said, but Castiel was not letting Crowley fool him, and tightened his grip around Crowley's neck.

"I really don't know! But I know how you can find him." Crowley managed to gasp out. Satisfied Castiel let go of his neck.

"Talk." Sam said curtly.


	6. Chapter 5: The Confrontation

_Chapter 5: The Confrontation_

"Fine. But I'm surprised you haven't figured this out already." Crowley took a deep breath and said "You won't find Dean he'll find you."

"That's your big information, just let him find us?!" Sam said incredulously.

"Well obviously. Think about it moose, he's bloody preparing himself to kill you, and now he's ready. He'll find you. Just make it easy for him."

That was a good plan though, Castiel was surprised and a little ashamed that he hadn't thought of it, but there was just one thing.

"How do you know he's ready, that he feels that he's finally prepared to kill us?" Castiel asked suspiciously. How did he know this, was it because Crowley was working with the Knight Of Hell, helping him kill all those people?

"How did you manage without me..." Crowley sighed, "Honestly I'm surprised you managed to stop the apocalypse. Oh wait that was with my help." Crowley smirked.

"Dean has stopped killing people that look like you. Now he's just killing for the sake of killing. The only reason he hasn't killed you already, is because he heard that you got the thing that can turn him back into a human, so he's keeping well away."

"Oh." Sam said

"Thats all your going to say? Oh? A thank you would be nice!"

"Goodbye Crowley." Castiel said firmly

"Fine, I know when I'm not wanted." And with that Crowley disappeared into thin air.

"So basically all we have to do is play bait and then Dean will come?" Sam asked skeptically "I think Dean will probably guess our plan and not come at all."

"You would think that, but if we insult him or make him angry enough, he will be overcome by some kind of demonic rage that he will not be able to control. He is still a very new demon, so he does not have very good control on emotions like that, even if he is a Knight of Hell"

"Ok then, so lets do this." Sam said determinedly, "After all it will be pretty easy to get my brother angry, I do it enough already." Castiel felt that even though that was true, since Dean was easy to antagonize, Sam wasn't normally the one who made Dean angry. Sam was the one who calmed him down, and Castiel was the one who angered Dean. For it seemed that when Dean was human, everything Cas did angered him greatly, and Castiel didn't always understand why.

In the end they decided to try waiting for Dean in a vegan bakery Dean hadn't attacked yet. After all they were trying to making it easier for Dean to find them, and so far Dean hadn't attacked the same place twice.

Castiel had never broken into a place before, or at least he had never broken into a place without use of his angelic powers. He had offered to "zap" them inside the bakery, but Sam had been adamant that Castiel wasn't to use his powers, saying that he didn't want Castiel to pass out on him while they were fighting Dean.

Castiel had protested saying that he was fine, and that he could handle taking them to the bakery, but Sam had given him one of his famous bitch-faces and they had left it at that. In all honesty though Cas wasn't so sure he _could _handle it, he felt like one of the undead walking around in his own dreamworld. it felt like Theo's grace was slowly draining the life out of him every time he took a breath. Castiel only kept going because of Dean, because Dean didn't deserve to become a demon after everything he had done.

They stood outside the bakery in silence wondering how they were going to break in. The only way to go into the bakery without causing a big disturbance seemed to be the window, but there was a burly security guard posted next to it. Castiel knew what he had to do, even if Sam didn't like it.

Castiel quickly disappeared and reappeared behind the security guard and knocked him out with the butt of his angel blade. Castiel's vision blacked out for a second before he recovered feeling like he had been thrown into a stone wall. It was getting harder and harder for Cas to breathe, but he clenched his teeth and quickly walked past Sam, ignoring his concerned face.

He smashed the window with the angel blade and quickly climbed inside, and looked around the room, noticing that the walls were painted pink. It would be even easier to antagonize Dean now, because for some reason Dean seemed to detest the colour.

Castiel moved aside so Sam could jump in, and wondered how they should go about annoying Dean. If Dean was keeping close enough tabs on them, he would be able to notice if they said his name, so all they had to do was talk to thin air and wait for an enraged Dean to attack them.

"Start talking Sam." Cas said, his eyes flicking to Sam uneasily, wondering what he was going to say. Sam took a deep breath and started talking

"Dean you make the most stupid mistakes ever, and you always expect me to clean up your mistakes. Look at this now you are a demon and I am supposed to make you better, but you know what I don't care any more. I never did. You always expect me to do everything for you, research the cases, kill the monsters, do everything. And god forbid I forget to do something, like when I forget your pie. I do not understand how you can love pie, it tastes slimy, and horrible and its probably the worst food in the world. I think there should be more vegan bakeries in-" Sam was cut off from his rant by a very angry Dean appearing.

"NO ONE INSULTS PIE!" Dean screamed, and ran at Sam, he was going so fast that Castiel couldn't see him, just a blur.

Dean threw a punch at Sam, the impact of it throwing hime against the pink walls.

"Sam!" Cas shouted, but immediately knew that was the wrong thing to do. Dean turned around and grinned.

"Hello Castiel." With that Dean ran at Cas and threw him against the counter, making everything go dark.


	7. Chapter 6: The Void Of Death

**_Sorry about the long wait for the chapter, I had a massive writer's block. This is_****_the second last chapter, before the end of the story. Don't worry though! There will be a sequel! -Sophia_**

_Chapter 6: The Void of Death_

Castiel slowly opened his eyes. It seemed Dean had adapted to being a knight of hell quickly if he was able to take down an angel so fast. Though it was true that Castiel was weaker than other angels. Castiel didn't comprehend one thing, why was he still alive. Wasn't that the whole point of Dean practicing at the vegan bakery, so that he could kill them without hesitation? Wasn't that why he had killed those people in the vegan bakeries? Maybe just maybe there was a hint of Dean's human self after all.

"Ah my dear friend Cas." Dean spoke mockingly "It seems you have awaken from your slumber."

Cas wondered if Sam was ok, after all he had taken quite a beating, this Dean was very dangerous, but again why hadn't he killed them?

"Now you are maybe wondering why haven't I killed you." Dean gave a cold smile "Well I suppose I am too soft, I just want to have a bit of fun first!' Dean laughed, and turned on a light in the vegan bakery's pantry. Instead of food and cooking tools, there was scalpels, knifes, angel blades, and hundreds of other weapons.

"You see I wanted you to try and save me, so I prepared. After all what kind of knight would I be if I wasn't prepared?" Castiel painfully tried to stand, it hurt but at least his two feet were able to support him!

"Dean, where's Sam."

"Aw don't worry Sammy hasn't been hurt, well not yet anyways." Dean disappeared for a second, then reappeared with Sam's unconscious body. He laid his body roughly on the floor. Dean turned around and started to look for something in the closet of knifes.

"Now where did I put that knife, since I got it specially for Sammy!"

Castiel knew he needed to act fast. He reached inside his trench coat pocket, and pulled out the syringe, thankfully it hadn't been damaged. He quickly walked up behind Dean, and plunged the syringe into Dean's back. The demon let out a scream of pain. It sounded like a million cats dying at once, and Dean fell to the floor.

Cas quickly walked up to Sam and healed him with a brush of his fingers. He also put Sam to sleep, since Cas needed to check if Dean was ok without any interruptions.

Castiel knelt beside Dean, and quickly lifted Dean's limp head, checking his pulse in the process. He couldn't feel anything, Dean was truly dead. He pulled Dean's lifeless body onto his lap, looking hard for any sign that Dean was alive.

"Dean." Castiel's voice sounded tortured even to his own ears. " Dean!" He shook Dean's shoulders, but Dean didn't wake. "Dean, wake up!" This human, the one he had given up everything for was dead. Cas felt his grief stick inside his throat. He felt empty now as if this was a bad dream, that he would wake up from. He remembered when he had first met Dean, and had saw that Dean felt that the angel should have just left him in hell, he felt he didn't deserve to be saved from hell. When they had last saw each other, Castiel had sensed that Dean felt again that it would have been better if he had just died.

"Dammit Dean! You deserve to be saved! Don't you dare give up on yourself." Cas whispered in anguish.

"If not for yourself, then at least wake up for Winchester, you are the most important human being on this planet to me." A tear slipped down Cas's cheek. He felt his throat burn with more unshed tears.

"Dean Winchester, I need you." Castiel's voice broke at that last word, he touched Dean's face gently, then let his hand drop. Dean Winchester was truly dead. He closed his eyes in grief. He laid Dean's head back on the ground, and sat next to him. Dean looked so peaceful like that, like he would open his forest green eyes and smile at any moment. For the first time in his life, Castiel let his emotions take over, and let tears slip down his face. He cried silently letting his grief take control, Cas brought his knees up to face, and felt like wanted to stay like this forever. Alone in the darkness forever.


	8. Chapter 7: The Angel Of The Lord

_**So if you want me to write a sequel, say so when you review, I'll only write a sequel once I get 3 reviews though. So yeah hope you enjoyed reading my fic!**_

"Cas?" Castiel felt something touch his face, he wished it would go away, he wanted to stay in the darkness, next to Dean.

"Cas. Come on man, open your eyes." The voice sounded a bit panicked

So Castiel slowly opened his eyes, and saw Dean, his Dean, sitting up, looking at him with concern in those beautiful green eyes.

"Dean?" Cas's voice sounded rough and unused from grief

"Cas, whats wrong?" It was time to go back to hiding his feeling from Dean again, it would only make things more complicated between himself and Dean if he said anything.

"I'm fine, Dean." He lied quietly.

"No you're not." Dean looked at him with understanding. "Talk to me Cas." And that was so Dean, the Dean Cas had missed, it hurt deep inside his chest. Before he could think about it, Cas reached over, and hugged Dean tightly. Dean stiffened for a moment, then hugged him back just as tightly.

"You died." Cas said, all the grief pouring out of him, showing what he couldn't convey in his voice.

"I remember." Dean said softly

"You do?" Cas said in surprise pulling back from the hug.

"Yeah I do. I remember everything that happened after I become demon."

"So you remember what happened when you died." What Cas really wanted to know was if Dean remembered what Cas had said, in his desperation.

"I remember bits and pieces, it hurts when you die, Cas." Dean laughed bitterly. "The transformation from demon to human is not painless, I was being pulled apart then rearranged. It hurt so much, that I thought I wouldn't be able to make it."

"Then how, no what helped you survive?" Cas asked quietly, even tentatively.

"You." Castiel froze in surprise "I heard you Cas, telling me to wake up. To not give up on myself, and most importantly that you needed me." Dean smiled softly "Now I don't want this to turn into a chick-flick moment, but knowing that you of people needed me, made me strong enough to pull myself back together." Castiel was speechless, but he made an effort to speak anyway

"Well, um, uh-"

"Oh shut it Cas." Then Dean leaned forward and kissed Castiel. All of Castiel's nerves lit up, and Cas felt like he was melting. But then Dean pulled back sharply, shaking his head.

"Whats wrong Dean?" Cas said surprised that he had pulled back.

"This." Dean gestured between himself and Cas "If I let you get close, I'll pull you down with me. I know I've said this before, but I'm poison Cas, you know that."

"Dean thats not true, stop thinking about yourself so badly." Castiel hadn't missed this part of Dean. The part that always thought he wasn't good enough

"Cas, I'm not lying, how do you think I would feel if I see you dead because of me." Dean said angrily, and pounded his fist on the floor, but it caught on something sharp, a nail that stuck out on the floor, and his hand started bleeding.

Almost as if by reflex, Castiel reached out and healed Dean's hand. The wound closed, but something went wrong. He felt the last bits of Theo's grace burn out, and felt nothing left. All the pain that the stolen grace had kept under the surface pushed through and pulled Castiel in, turning the inside of his body into what felt like liquid fire. Castiel moaned in pain and put his hands on his head, willing the pain to stop. Make it stop he kept thinking, as if the mere thought alone would halt the pain.

"Cas, are you alright?" Dean reached out his hand to calm Castiel, but instead of his hand grasping Cas it grasped thin air. Castiel was on the floor writhing from the flames within, mumbling incoherent words.

"Cas, whats wrong? Tell me!" Dean reached towards Cas again, and tried to push him into a sitting position, but Castiel just lay limply against Dean's arm.

"The grace-" Castiel managed to gasp out "It's killing me, can't stay awake." Castiel tried to fight against the darkness, tried to keep , but it was too hard. He felt his eyelids begin to close. It was so hard now staying awake, fighting the heaviness of his eyelids. Breathing was becoming hard too, he wondered how he hadn't noticed how much effort it took before.

"Dammit Cas! Don't you dare close those eyes!" Dean shouted desperately. "You're not dying Cas, just stay awake!" Castiel tried even harder, but the pain was too much, it hurt to stay alive. Castiel knew that Dean could live without him as long as Dean had Sam, all that mattered to Castiel was that Dean was safe and unhurt. So Castiel closed his eyes and gave up fighting, gave up trying so hard to breathe

"Cas? Cas! Wake up, you bastard! Don't you dare die on me!" Dean's voice came from far away sounding broken and hurt, but Cas felt the darkness engulf him completely. With great effort, Castiel managed to say three words, his voice shaky .

"I-I'm sorry Dean." Castiel took his last ragged breath and felt himself stop breathing. Castiel felt a pinch of guilt in leaving Dean behind, but where he was going he didn't want Dean to follow. After all, angels didn't go anywhere good when they died.


	9. IF YOU WANT TO READ SEQUEL READ THIS

**_So hey, I've decided to upload a sequel, cause I've realized how unfair it would be, also I HATE CLIFFHANGERS! So the next book will be posted over the next couple of days and it will be called "The Road To Hell. Also I'm working on another fic called "The Wingless Angel" if you want to have a read. Peace out bitches_**

**_Sophia_**


End file.
